Diabolik Lovers Scenarios
by Zeru-Chan
Summary: What if I replaced Yui with a crazy fangirl (who lives in the Diabolik Lovers world)? ... this happens... I was bored and changed some scenes from the games and anime (mostly anime). Also includes fanmade scenes.


**... hi... I was bored and thought "What if I replaced Yui with a crazy fangirl (who lives in the Diabolik Lovers world)?" The result is some scenarios where I have replaced Yui with myself. ... this is without a doubt the weirdest thing I've ever written...**

**Subaru: The author owns nothing. Can I go now?**

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><p>AYATO AT THE COUCH! (Anime)<p>

"Hmm?" The girl, Zeru, looks at the HANDSOMELYHAWTBEAUTIFULSADISTBOY at the couch.

"... OH MY GOD, HIS HAIR IS SO PREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTYYYYYYYY~!" she quietly fangirls. Zeru walks towards him and pokes his cheek.

"... he's cold..." The brunette checks for pulse, but there's none. The young girl with ADHD and some mental problems just stares before realizing...

"EITHER THERE'S A DEAD BODY HERE OR HE'S JACK FROST WITH DYED HAIR!"

"Would you keep it down?" the handsome teen says as he sits up but gets hit by a bag.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, A ZOMBIE!"

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><p>DOLL ROOM (Anime)<p>

"Sooooo, those wax dolls are actually real human bodies? ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH, IT'S MAD FATHER ALL OVER AGAIN! DIIIIIIOOOO, SAAAAAAAAAAAVEEEE MEEEEEEE!"

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><p>SUBARU'S DEBUT (Anime)<p>

"I thought it smelled like a human in here. So, it was you. How dare you interrupt my precious sleep?" Instead of answering the albino vampire, Zeru simply stares at the teen. ... before running over to him and hugging him.

"FLOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEENNNNNCCCCCEEEEE~! I KNEW YOU WERE REAL~! ALL OF MY FRIENDS TOLD ME YOU WEREN'T BUT NOW I HAVE PROOF YOU EXIST! BUT WHY DID YOU CUT OFF YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR~?"

Every single one of the brothers are staring at the girl and to their surprise, Subaru hugs back... in a very awkward way...

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><p>SLEEPING IN THE IRON MAIDEN (Game 1)<p>

_'... WHY CAN'T I MOVE?!'_

"Hehe..."

_'Huh? Is that...? No, it can't be...'_

"... yo. So you've finally woken up?" Ayato asks.

"I'MSOSORRYLORDSATANIPROMISEI'LLSTARTSACRIFICINGPEOPLETOYOUAGAINJUSTPLEASEDON'TKILLME!" Zeru screams. "I'LLKILLTHEVAMPIRESANDSACRIFICETHEIRSOULSTOYOUBUTIDON'TKNOWHOWIMEANTHEY'REFUCKINGIMMORTAL!"

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><p>THEY'RE VAMPIRES! (Anime)<p>

Zeru trips and starts to bleed chocolate- I mean blood! And suddenly, everyone looks creepy as hell.

"... are you vampires? ... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU SPARKLY FREAKS!" she shouts as she pushes open the door and runs.

"... I'll fucking kill her," one of the vampires says but I don't know which one. Why? DON'T QUESTION MEEE!

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><p>OH MY KIRA! (Sorta-kinda fanmade)<p>

"Wait a minute here, his name is Laito?"

"That's right, Bitch-chan," the FABULOUS vampire says. Zeru gasps and starts waving her arms around like an idiot while pointing at Laito.

"OH MY KIRA! I FINALLY FOUND YOU, LIGHT YAGAMI! I KNEW YOU WEREN'T DEAD! BUT NOW **_I'M _**GONNA KILL YOU FOR MAKING REM KILL L THUS KILLING REM SINCE SHE OR HE OR WHATEVER WAS IN LOVE WITH MISA!"

And before anyone can say anything, the girl attacks the perverted teen like the rabid L fangirl she is.

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><p>MASTER OF THE MUSIC ROOM (Game 1)<p>

"-And it's said that Sakamaki Shuu doesn't talk to anyone and is the master of the music room!" 'Female Student' says.

"Music room? Music room?! _**I FLIPPING KNEW THERE WAS A REAL VERSION OF THE HOST** **CLUB!**_"

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><p>WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE MUSIC ROOM? - LAITO (Game 1)<p>

"What's wrong with the music room?" a familiar voice says.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe there's a vampire host club there that wants to suck me dry and shit like that," Zeru says, rolling her eyes, but runs in the direction of the music room. "I'M COMING, VAMPIRE-TAMAKI!"

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><p>ZERU'S REPORT (Fanmade)<p>

For a whole week, Zeru has been observing the brothers (aka stalking them, reading their journals (diaries), stolen their CDs and movies and stuff like that) and have finally come up with a conclusion. Here is her report on the Sakamaki brothers.

**Ayato: HE'S LIKE A SADISTIC AND JERKISH TAMAKI! He likes takoyaki and I believe he is the incarnation of Riliane Lucifen d'Autriche. UPDATE: I've now found out that Riliane was possessed by the Demon of Pride and her awful actions were not by her own will. AYATO IS POSSESSED! ... And sleeps in an Iron Maiden. ... I also suspect he and his brothers (not including Fluffy-kun and (maybe) Shu) work with the barrels.**

**Kanato: A creepy, yandere version of Honey-senpai! :D He has a teddy bear named Teddy and he likes singing Scarbourgh Fair. I suspect he may be a Malkavian. And I love Malkavians! They make me laugh! UPDATE: ... I used to think he's cute. BUT HE'S A FUCKING PSYCHO! HOW I FOUND OUT?! HE WAS SINGING ABOUT SOME RIPPER CARNIVAL! WHAT THE FUCK?!**

**Reiji: ... a sadistic butler like creature who likes whips and reminds me of Kyouya-senpai.**

**Laito: HE KILLED REM, L, RAYE PENBER AND NAOMI MISORA! HOW DARE HE?! He can play the piano and has different modes: Kawaii mode, Pervert Mode and KIRA MODE! UPDATE: ... he's a motherfucker. LITERALLY! AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU REMIND ME OF HIKARU AND KAORU?! WHY?!**

**Shu: Gives the words "lazyness" and "sloth" a new meaning. ... why do I feel like I just wrote something stupid? Anyways, he's the "master of the music room" AKA King of the Host Club and always listens to music, EVEN WHILE BATHING! He's really cute, YET REALLY MEAN! :( He told me I'm noisy! I'M NOT NOISY OR LOUD IN ANYWAY! I'M QUIET AS A MOUSE!**

**Florence/Subaru: For some reason, Bakura/Kitty/Fluffy/Florence has decided to cut off his hair, get his own body, become a vampire, stop hating the Pharaoh and give up on Marik. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! But he's actually really nice. He likes hugs and he doesn't suck my blood! :D And he gave me a knife! A silver knife! Now I can go all psycho and kill people! Or just stare at it. ... it's sooooo shiny~!**

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><p>SUBARU'S GAYDAR (Fanmade)<p>

"WHERE'S YOUR GAYDAR?!"

"MY WHAT?!"

"Oh sorry, where's _Ryou's _gaydar?"

"... err... it's... in my closet... in Egypt..."

"YOU HAVE A CLOSET IN EGYPT?! OH MY RA! I GOTTA TELL JULI-CHAN!" And the crazy otaku runs off to tell her friend/sis/partner in crime/fellow yaoi fangirl/BFF that Yami Bakura has a closet in Egypt... that can be from when he had his own body or he's sharing with Marik... Goddamn it, I hate fangirls. Ouch! Author-san hit me! :(

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><p>THEY'RE VAMPIRES! TAKE TWO! (Anime)<p>

Zeru trips, starts to bleed and everyone looks creepy as hell.

"Are you... vampires?" she asks. "FUCK IT! NOW THEY HAVE TO KILL ME TO UPHOLD THE MASQUERADE! FUCK MY LIFE!"

She runs out of the room and they all stare after her.

"Someone has been playing Vampire the Masquerade a lil' bit too much, it seems..."

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><p><strong>Mad Father: A RPG horror game that contains a mad father (obviously) that turns people into dolls. Dio is a character from the game.<strong>

**Florence/Fluffy/Yami Bakura: A character from Yugioh. For some reason, Subaru reminds me of him. The Florence part is from the abridged series. Marik (who I mentioned somewhere) is another character from Yugioh. The gaydar is a joke from the abridged.**

**Light Yagami: Main character in Death Note. His japanese name is Raito/Laito. See why I did that joke?**

**Host Club: The Ouran Host Club. Haven't seen that anime? I highly recommend it. Honey-senpai, Tamaki and Kyouya-senpai are members of the host club.**

****Riliane Lucifen d'Autriche: A character from Evilious Chronicles. Does not appear in an anime. Only manga, novel and vocaloid song.****

****Barrels: One word: Pewdiepie.****

****Malkavian: A vampire clan from Vampire the Masquerade (Bloodlines). They're all nutcases due to a curse.****

****Masquerade: Another reference to Vampire the Masquerade. I'm too lazy to explain what it is, so NO EXPLANATION FOR YOU!****

**... thank you for reading. Please review OR I'LL KILL THE SAKAMAKIS (not including Subaru)! *takes out the knife but is distracted by its shininess***

**Subaru: ... I guess this means she won't kill anyone.**

**Me: Soooooooo shiiiiiiiiiiiiiny~!**


End file.
